Last month, while getting my daughter ready, I had mistakenly called her leggings tights. She promptly replied, “Dad! You don’t understand girls”
Stunned by this comment, (I thought come on, I know girls I've been surrounded by girls all my life)! But I just said you know what T, you are right.
Now this is going back a few weeks, and over a hundred messages, countless phone calls with other boys about their kids, wives and girlfriends, I’ve come to the conclusion that actually I do not understand girls/women. I always thought I was the modern man with the ability to be strong, sensitive, caring and a good listener but this is clearly the wrong approach.
It turns out boys don’t understand girls at all and probably never will.
If you open up too much to girls then you show your weakness like Kryptonite, if you say nothing your emotionless like MEH!! Show too much love, you’re too soppy, not enough and you must be cheating!!!!
We’ve talked about balance in our lives before in previous posts. For us to help maintain our mental health and wellbeing there needs to be a balance or middle ground in a relationship. Or so we would like to think. It just cannot happen. Adam always seemed to sacrifice a little in order for Eve to thrive, grow and become the strong woman she has become.
Why is this that men and women are supposed to be equal?
click on the links for further information
With all the external challenges that women face the outlet for frustration is often directed at those closest, but as we are modern men we have become more sensitive and can't cope or understand the role we have to play in this new world, which is why we have the curious boys club. The club is an outlet to gossip about the girls, no seriously its to talk, listen, share our thoughts and feelings and inspire. (we do also have the curious girls club) Often these emotions are bottled up which turns into frustration or even anger directed at partners, or even self harm and suicide.
Young men committing suicide is the highest it has been in years.
Not for one minute am i saying this is the fault of our glorious women, but of society and the misconception that men don’t talk, boys can't cry or ask for help.
When one power rises it’s inevitable that one will crumble and so men are in a slight decline. If we cant rise as one and educate our children to have the correct values, moral understanding (which is their right whether male or female to succeed) we will continue to rotate on this treadmill we call life. And we thought we were in control of the lab rats??
I believe our children will posses greater understanding of today’s modern world not the jetsons world we mainly saw as kids.
We don’t all have to be the rough and tumble disciplinarians of yester year. We don't have to be the Aryan race once believed to be the future super power.
We have a choice, we are more curious about the world and we must give our kids and ourselves every chance to discover what the world can do for us and what we can do for each other. And for my daughter of dual heritage nature "if she's anything like me I'm raising a KING"!
Line by Little Simz song Therapy from the album GREY area
So MrB, thank you for taking the time to catch up with us. You are a an extremely busy creative man. Tell us a little about what you do and how you were 1st introduced to the club?
I am Editor at Large for an art & photography UK magazine called STATE-F22. As well interviewing artists and photographers for features in STATE-F22, I liaise with art galleries on collaborations with their exhibition programmes. I also bring in drinks sponsorship for private views.
We also have a art gallery Bermondsey Project Space In Bermondsey Street, three floors,three galleries and 3,000 square feet. I work on special projects and innovations for the gallery.
I am a broadcast arts pundit, compere arts salons and events and do live Q & A interviews with artists in galleries.
I was introduced to the Curious Boys Club via my old fashion world mate Cory Barrett and through social media.
TELL US 3 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU CURIOUS?
1_Life’s changes, unexpected opportunities and humans.
2_Nature’s development in the modern world.
3_Always considering the opposite of whatever is being said or presented. Then making your own mind up.
WHAT ARE THE 3 KEY VALUES YOU STAND BY AND WHY?
1_Morals. Otherwise there is complete chaos in the world.
2_Timekeeping always try to be on time. Time always wins in the end.
3_Integrity and honesty.Having the wonderful feeling you are doing
what you are doing for the right right reasons. Even if it is not successful, something good will come out of it.
3a_A good pint of real ale. Anyone who drinks real ale must be curious of mind!
CAN YOU SHARE 3 PIECES OF ADVICE YOU WOULD PASS ON? AS WE AIM TO INSPIRE THE NEXT WAVE OF CREATORS.
1_Never take anything on face value, question what you are being told. Never give UP EVER.
2_Don't dismiss older people, they have lived a life and have wisdom that life has thrown at them. They throw it back!.
3_Read a lot, think a lot and walk when you can. It will bring creative ideas you never expected you had.
3a_Always be curious & arty!.
3 REASONS YOU LOVE AND FIND CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR INDUSTRY!!
1_Always creative and pushes the mundane out and into a blender of exciting new cultural experiences just around the corner of your imagination.
2_Always lots of parties, interesting people and lots of booze.
3_Always finding new emerging talented artists across the creative board with their own twist on arts now.
The industry that I work in. It’s exciting, thrilling and glamorous and gives me lots of reasons to get out of bed in the morning.
how curious is that.........!
If you would like to stay connected to The arty gent follow him on twitter @artygent or via the links to f-22 and the Bermondsey Art Project.
We were fortunate to meet the very curious Curating Coventry team at our launch event. Chloe Morgan who is the founder shares her passion for art and design in Coventry came and attended our event asked to delve a little deeper into the curious boys club, so we agreed to an interview.
Click the link to read the interview here and follow Chloe on Facebook - Instagram and Twitter
We'll be back soon with a few updates and round up the year, and what a year it's been.
#WeTheCurious #StayCurious #CB_C
The Curious Boys Club is launching their debut exhibition at a renowned gallery in Warwickshire. The exhibition, celebrating Black History Month; the curious past, the traditions and the confidence that carried our families to new shores.
They faced tough challenges, social, economic and racial struggles like most families that braved the new world they would soon call home. My family was no different. I can only imagine the struggles, the pain and the suffering they went through to help me get to this moment. It was their desire to create, their want for more, the need to carry themselves confidently and proud that says who they are. My granddad arrived from Jamaica, suited and booted presenting the best of himself, prepared to work hard for what he wanted for his family. This is what I took from my family’s history.
The image of the families dressed in all their finery as they step off the boat or plane is what sticks out and what must have shocked so many. Right there the statement of internet was made, that’s what clothes can do. They project your image and your personality whether you like it or not.
Personally I love it!!
As a young black boy in the 80s I was stared at, pointed at for being different. My mum always made sure I was sharp. So now this defiant voice in my head says I will equally give you something to stare at, that’s the extrovert in me. I am also a very quiet person by nature, so again we have this tension, but, it is this unique balance which has shaped my entire life.
We are innovators, storytellers whether that’s visually, verbally or physically. I will always aim to give you more. I am a frustrated perfectionist and that’s my style. I like things a little rough round the edges, but I also like the clean refined sharp elements that comes from styling and dressing - tension and balance. If I am not challenging myself, my style, my inspirations then I am not moving forward. I’m not here for the ride, I’m here to take you on a journey.
My uniform or go to colours are black, navy and grey with white highlights with an added twist. There’s an element of risk involved, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t, but if you have the confidence, to carry yourself tall and proud then it’s a risk worth taking. I know what my co-founders of the Curious Boys will wear. They will never admit it but I have influenced their style. Maybe it’s natural - the more time you spend with people you adopt a similar aesthetic and mindset outlook. I have even got my wife wearing a Wu-tang hoodie!!! The kids thinks she’s cooler now (my influence is growing).
Because of the nature of the event, I have been planning in my head what my outfit should be all day. I know what I wanted to wear, but I went with what would be best for the image and the Curious brand. This was our exhibition to enhance it, enhance the brand, myself and the boys.
We are always and will forever be Curious Boys and Girls
Everyone knows its the school holidays therefore I'm also downing tools (sort of) so they'll be no posts until the kids go back folks!
I hear the gasps and sighs!!!!
But they are all consuming!! And I only have 2 of the little demanding angels.
The only reason I'm writing this post is because my sister is having them for 3 days as some sort of contraception (I imagine).
Anyway I'm off see you in September.
Oh by shopping I meant uniform shopping.
Gone have the days of chilling with my boys on holidays to Kavos, Ibiza I get to hang out with a new tribe!!!
Image from The Boss Lady herself check out www.facebook.com/BossMuraTribe/
Lovebox as a festival has been going since 2002 when Groove Armada and Jools were sitting in a pub, lamenting the London party scene. They were playing gigs and clubs everywhere, but thought there might be a way to put on a different kind of show in London, with more exciting line-ups which soon became a reality.
This is the 1st time I had been to a festival like this, forget the foody festivals, design festivals this was a real all or noting kinda festival.
GO BIG OR GO HOME!!
WTF!! At least a 100 deep queue just to get in!! Good job I booked VIP passes. You see this is the year of the 40s and I’m going hard celebrating the year as its my last, I don’t know why, I just want to (mid life crisis call it). Its been a tough few years at home, work and health trying to manage the family dynamic, my mental strength, anxiety and emotions so the last thing I needed was a field of 100,000 people dancing and partying all day.
This is exactly what I NEEDED!! If I had hair then it was fully let down as we snaked down the side of the queue to the VIP section (did I mention we had VIP) the sounds of the different tents was incredible it was a mash up of sounds, smells, backgrounds, a real sensory experience.
We headed to the VIP area to get a drink settle in get our bearings and plan of attack of who we wanted to see and on what stage. I was only their for Wu-Tang nothing else mattered, I’m going where the vibe was. The drinks were flowing cigars smoking and the music BANGING! The Wu were everything I would expect, the energy was live - we weren’t necessarily the old boys of the crowd but old heads mixed with new heads and everyone 3yrs old to 53 years had there W’’s up.
For a few hours my troubles had gone, what pain, what stress, what anxiety. Surely it’s all in my head!! Yes it was, it was in my head, neck, shoulders, back hips and knees. I was seizing up. Thankfully I had seen and experienced the festival down pour “dancing in the rain just not naked (for those of you who don’t know the song)
Take a listen.
The constant reminder that my pains are always with me even if I am distracted. I could have easily done day 2 but that would have been a 2-step too far me. I was crying out for more Lovebox but was desperate for my pillbox. Just not the illegal kind!!
The journey of a father and son is a long one. I would imagine!! I am just guessing as my own father left when I was young and my stepfather passed away a few years ago. This isn’t a sob story or a hard luck story just a mere reflection on my understanding of fatherhood to date. I had/have incredible role models around me in the form of uncles and friend’s fathers and my incredible mum who was MAD (Mum and Dad) so I never really felt like I missed out.
It’s only now that I embark on a European tour taking on 3 countries and 7 planes in 48 hours to reach the destination; Kiev with my 8 (going on 18) year old son that I started to believe what our partnership can be. The moment I told him we were going to watch the team we love in the final of club football’s prestigious competition, the Champions League Final - I could’ve just died. Happy right there in the knowledge that if I do anything else in this world which brings the joyous smile and gripping embrace that I received that night, I would’ve achieved something no father will ever forget.
This isn’t to say that in order to gain acceptance and love you have to splash out on lavish, gifts or trips. It was just the pure connection between two passionate individuals who shared a dream. Would he love me less if we didn’t do the trip? No. We’ve had quality time to bond, chat, laugh, be silly boys, curious about life and the world. Now, this is me feeling like a father; through the scolding, the nagging, the encouragement, nurturing and love I have provided to date. In that moment it clicked. I had to turn my responsibilities up a notch.
I HAVE A DREAM -
I dream to be more! With the desire to encourage the dream we both share. I am not just a dad, but a man with a single-minded focus to enjoy life despite my illness, make the most of every opportunity and have fun on the way with my new partner in crime.
We’ve travelled to watch games, sporting and non-sporting events before but this was different. It’s come at a point in my life where, each morning I can never be sure where my head is at or how my body feels. Every day brings with it new challenges. I have been angry, I have been depressed, frustrated and inspired. A mix all of these things together in a pressure cooker that is day-to-day life and it’s only inevitable the lid will sometimes blow Mine did and it was the worst moment I can ever remember. The tears streaming down all our faces; not quite sure what happened or what was going on. It felt like a breakdown to me. My mind and body completely broken. I contemplated all sorts. It’s horrible what the mind can conjure up. It truly is a creative, powerful and terrifying vessel if you don’t work together. I had to think fast, what did my mindfulness teach me about unhelpful thoughts? Find a quick distraction; something to grab onto and bring you back from the brink.
My distraction? Aaaaahhhhh The Raes!!!
My little Raes of sunshine, their faces not knowing what was going on with their source. I say source but mean sponge as they soak up the traits of me and my wife, which is only natural. They are a perfect balance of the two of us! I don’t want them to take on this part of me, I have to be stronger, stronger for them. They are the perfect tonic on the dark days, a laugh, a thought, a cuddle from them goes a long way.
It takes a few weeks but I’m back, of sorts. And they can see it. They feed off my energy. And when the energy is great there is no better place than our world. It’s just not that often these days. So, on May 9th it was at fever pitch as we (Liverpool) reached the Champions League final and I followed through with a dream and in the process created emotions and memories that will live and die with both me and my son
This is only the first chapter in my fatherhood story and I know I’m doing ok. But I could be better, I will be better. Each day I am learning and on the good days will plan to make the next more inspiring than the last. And they won’t all be good. But realising, accepting it and learning from it in order to move on is the next episode. I said to Marlow “I’m still learning to be a dad, every single day”. I talk to Marlow. I explain how I’m feeling and what’s going on, a little but not too deep. He’s a child, my son, not my counsellor. The only thing I really share with him is my constant love for him and the message that I am always here for him and not to bottle up his feelings. It’s natural to not always know what the body and mind are doing. And, of course, we will always share the memories of our past adventures and the excitement of the memories we are yet to make.
As we stand here in the raucous "Ukrainian Kop" rings out...
YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!
The result that night doesn’t really matter I already felt like I won.
Recently, I have had this sense of loneliness and isolation. This may sound crazy to the people that know me - incredible family and friends; a network of colleagues that have become the dearest of friends. I have the creativity, passion and desire to succeed, but something is m_ssing.
I can’t put my finger (or mouse) on what 'it' is, but it feels as if there’s a piece of my heart that cannot be filled. I was told by a pain consultant that long standing conditions can feel like grief. This is not to diminish the sense of loss those who have lost loved ones feel or have felt, but I am grieving for a life, maybe even a lifestyle, I used to know.
This missing piece of me should be small enough to not consume my every thought; allowing me to keep going, and yet, despite being surrounded by so much positive energy and love - from my children, in addition to the commitment of my wife, the missing element is still gnawing away. Surely, what I have should be enough?
For me, it goes back to what it is being a man. The media definition suggests a man must be hard working, a provider, a disciplinarian etc etc. We’ve all heard it all before. There are elements within those definitions that resonate with me. That were me and values I lived by - to protect and provide for my family.
But there in lays the problem, as I am unable to meet this fundamental element of being a 'real man' this at present moment and boy, does it frustrate me. The interesting thing is that life and my experiences have also taught me that I CAN provide......in other ways. I have the luxury of time now to understand the real love of knowing my children. I'm learning to understand my body, for it is the hub for all things - positive and negative. I just need to let it....be.
I’m still fighting my inner battle and this grief type feeling is lessening, but I feel I’ve really lost what it is that I’m supposed to do. What else can I achieve? Being a good father, son, husband and all of that is obvious. I want more.
You see, I have always had my life mapped out to a certain extent, knowing I have options to help my journey, but now I’m just in this state of flux; knowing but not knowing my path, my call to action, my legacy. I have so many people that inspire me and I'm proud to call them friends and family, which helps me with the determination, the hunger for more. I’ve never just settled and never will, why should we. We have one life to live and you should live it, doing the things you enjoy. Finding myself is the first part of this chapter and then we will see where that takes me. I know my goals, and whilst there is no pressure to reach them, there is the ideal to enjoy and make the most of the time we have.
The dials are in our favour as spring comes upon us. A tune for new beginnings, restored hope! I just hope to wake up tomorrow clear, focused, but always curious.
I had a bit of a moment this past week thinking about my purpose and all that. And I realised that I just give give give which is not a bad thing, then I thought hang on what's the most important thing in my life - my kids!! If I’m gonna be a stay at home dad, then I’m gonna be the best bloody stay at home dad in the world. And the light suddenly switched on! It’s all for them and that’s fine because they are me I am them, they are my energy when I’m down, they lift me up, inspire and drive me to be the best I can be. And that’s what I’m trying to in-still in them.