Tic Tic Tic Tic!
As the hair on our heads thins and our beards go grey, it's only now that we realise what real luxury is: And it's not about the cars, houses, sneakers or endless luxury clothes. Yes, these things are nice (and I’m definitely guilty of wanting all of these), because we're all told that this is what you need to aspire too; what success looks like.
Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be able to buy the latest sneakers, beautiful furniture, go on amazing holidays, but what I have recently learnt and now appreciate since we started discussing 'The Curious Boys Club', is that it is all irrelevant.
The greatest luxury for me is time!!!
It's the one thing that you can never get back.
Whilst we chase the dream and continue to build our lives, it's the little moments that we will really need to cherish. I found that out recently. You see, I was the dream chaser (I possibly still am). Working, travelling, providing, so I could give my family everything they could wish for. One thing I couldn’t give them though, was the time that both they and I craved (but never realised). I missed long periods of my children growing up in the key moments of their life. I was adamant that it was going to be different, but I got sucked into career chasing, living the dream of creating a better lifestyle; bigger house, better school district, more 'stuff', wanting more and more and maybe that's why I was struck with illness. My body was telling me, I need to......slow.....down.
"What does my body know?" I asked myself. "I can handle this." I convinced myself that I can do everything; be a husband, father, creator, leader and provider. WRONG!!! The body always wins. Listen to your body and it will guide you to where you need to be. We are not machines and we cannot just keep ticking along. Every now and then, the clock needs to be wound up, have batteries replaced, serviced or given a gentle nudge.
I am learning how to prioritise and identify what is important to me. In short, the answer is, me. I have to learn to focus on me. If I’m not healthy, how can I do anything for my family?!! So, I changed my stars, which brings me to a year; A year of ups and downs - incredible downs that I wouldn’t wish on anybody, but with time, I feel stronger and I'm trying to gain clarity on my true purpose. Why am I here?
I still don’t know the answer to that question, but in the meantime, I am enjoying spending time with my children; trying to guide them, encourage them and spend quality time with them. Getting to know them and myself using yoga and mindfulness as tools.
Most probably, I'll need more than a year to realise my full potential, or maybe time will never allow me too. One thing I do know is that I’m more conscious of my time, what I do with it, how to manage it (sometimes). Sometimes, I just, wonder……………
Gaze into the sky or into the screen, as I have just done, but lost in my own thoughts, pains, struggles with life. But we just keep going, not just for the sake of it, but because the clock that's inside all of us, keeps ticking and the cogs of the brain/mind keep clunking together - maybe a little slower these days, but until the day I stop ticking, I will be curious along the way.
Exercise your mind, body and soul!!
There is help out there for support, don't try this alone it, you don't need to. Talk to your GP or someone close you never know, they maybe feeling the same.